quickpost

I decided to move this blog to blogspot.com. I will post the new address soon. I’m still working on the site and will soon publish my latest work there.

Please visit my new site, Likha Niron at blogspot. I’m still in the process of moving my work there and posting new things. Thanks for the support. =)

Dear Plagiarism:

I woke up one day with a strong urge to write.

Write not only about my dreams but my thoughts and my ideals.

A timid person like me dread to say what’s on my mind, what more in writing.

I falter a couple times, but that didn’t discourage me.

With all my fears set aside, I started scribbling.

I wrote my dreams, my ideals, my thoughts with no apprehension.

and then one day, I stop.

I stop not because there are no ideas to be written nor dreams to be told.

But because you stole my thoughts.

hatefully yours,

Originality

——

This is the reason why I no longer write here nor post my photos that often. Because a lot of people are copying my written work or copying my photos then putting then in their blog/friendster account and owning it.  I don’t mind if you copy my work as long as you give credit to me.

Part II: Realization

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Another long, eerie silence. Something that worries me a lot. But I’m so exhausted, I started to don’t care. I still don’t know if I can or will even survive. I was just waiting for this to end, I know it will, soon. I was starting to accept my situation when I heard something again. But unlike before, the sound was soothing, calming. It was so relaxing that my tensed body started to loosen up. I felt like floating from air, cradled by soft clouds providing a cozy and warm feeling. The sound gave me the strength to hang on, to keep on believing. As the sound continue to calm my agitation, I slowly regain the strength that I have exhausted for quite some time. I don’t know what it was nor where it came from but I suprisingly, for the very first time, I feel SAFE.

.

Undoubtedly calming. I never heard such a very soothing sound. There are varying pitch, a peaceful tone arrange in a pattern that seem to be related to one another. I can still hear some garbled but it was soft and seem to follow a certain pattern also. I wonder who are making those sounds and why. “Does the sound mean something? Is it the answer to my frantic scream a while ago? How am I suppose to respond?” A lot of question still linger regarding the source and the purpose of that sound. Yet, I don’t feel scared and not even a hint of anxiety. I may not understand what it meant but the sound seem to keep me secure. Something that I long for quite some time now; to feel safe, secure and finally at PEACE.

Part I: Awakening

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Dark, Wet and Eerie. In the midst of unknown, I tremble. I’ve been screaming for long hours hoping that someone would hear me, but my attempt is futile. I tried to move my limbs, struggling to get out in this mysterious encasement. Again, I failed. "Am I Dead? Am I buried alive?" The thought scares me. "Why me? Why now? How about my dreams, my ambition, my . . . " As tears starts touching my cheek, I suddenly realized that I can’t remember anything. My dreams, my ambition, my past… I can’t even remember how I got where I am now. No matter how hard I tried, I can’t. I just can’t. The last thing I remember was when I was screaming on the top of my lungs. And before that, NOTHING.

.

A Dream. This is just dream. That explains everything. Does it? I’ve been in this place for long hours now. "Can I just be dreaming?" But I can feel that my naked body is dampen by unknown liquid. "If I’m not dreaming, then what? Am I a guinea pig of a neurotic mad scientist? Have I been abducted?" Thoughts came running through my head. Endless possibilities of what might have happened. Raped, Kidnapped by alien, buried alive or a even victim of some sick practical joke. I can’t fathom what is happening nor why it should happen to me. "Have I done something wrong, something despicable to deserve what I’m experiencing now? What have I done . . . WHAT?!?"

.

My long silence was disturbed by the sudden movements around me. An invisible force making my surroundings to have a ripple-like movement. Something seems to be so familiar yet I can’t remember it. Suddenly, I heard something, like a murmur or a very garbled sound. I can’t understand what it was. That adds to my anxiety which makes me so agitated. With my remaining strength, I gave my strongest kick, hoping it will make it go away. But I was wrong. It seems that my action encourages more garbled sounds coming from different directions. My agitation turns into phobia, a fear of something I can’t even understand. And that makes it more scary, more traumatic. I was struggling, kicking in all direction, screaming and crying at the same time like there was no tomorrow. I’m already losing hope, FAST.

Ala-siete  ng umaga.

Bumangon ako’t nag-uunat.
Di alintana ang pag sayad ng kamay sa mababang kisame ng aking silid.
Diretsong kong tinungo ang palikuran at daling binuhos ang tubig sa katawan.
Bakit di ko man lang maramdaman ang lamig o ginaw ng tubig?

Nagmamadaling nagbihis, wari’y may hinahabol.
Sikmurang walang laman, maliban sa mainit ng kape, agad kung tinahak ang daan.
Di pansin ang usok, ingay at alinsangan ng panahon, makarating lang sa pupuntahan.
Bakit di ko man lang napansin ang kalam ng aking sikmura?

Sikuhan, balyahan, unahan makasakay.
Pilit iniingatan ang pitaka na tanging laman ay sakto sa pangaraw-araw.
Tagaktak ang pawis habang bumabiyahe ang sasakyang punong-puno.
Bakit ba ganito araw-araw ang aking nasusumpungan?

Patakbong bumababa sa hagdanang kay tarik.
Pilit iniiwasan ang mga batang nakasalampak sa sahig.
Mga nag-iintay ng kunting barya sa mga taong nagdaraan.
Bakit wala akong maramdamang awa sa mga batang nadaanan?

Pawisan at nagmamadaling tinungo ang opisina.
Sinimulan ang gawaing na tila bago araw-araw.
Di ko napansin ang oras, ilang minuto nalang at kalahating araw ang lumipas.
Bakit hangang ngayon ay di parin ako dalawin ng gutom?

Alas-dose ng tanghali.

Hawak-hawak ang isang tasa ng kape.
Mainit at umusok, pilit na hinigop. Hindi man lang ako napangiwi.
Magisang minamasdan ang kasamahang masayang nagkakainan at nagkwekwentuhan.
Bakit walang man lang akong naramdamang inggit sa kanilang tawanan?

Binuksan na ang ilaw, hudyat ng pagtatapos ng tanghalian.
Habang ang iba’y kagigising palang mula sa siesta, subsob agad ako sa la mesa.
Pilit na tinatapos, ang mga trabahong tila di maubos ubos.
Bakit tila ganito ang takbo ng buhay ko araw-araw?

Ilang oras pa ang lumipas at lumubog na ang araw.
Di ko  namalayan, ang mga kasamahan ko’y nagsipaguwian na.
Habang ako nandito pa din sa upuan ko, patuloy na tinatapos ang tambak na trabaho.
Bakit di man lang nila ko napansin?

Malalim na ang gabi ng ako’y natapos.
Pagal na katawan, pagod na isipan, tanging pag-uwi na lang ang aking nais.
Habang inaayos ang aking gamit, di ko mawari ang aking nararamdaman.
Bakit tila yata mabigat ang aking pakiramdam?

Buong lakas kung binuksan ang pintuan.
Hawak-hawak ang aking bag, dahan dahan kung tinahak ang daan palabas ng opisina.
Hanggang ngayon di ko alam nong nangyari. Mabigat ang pakiramdam, tila kandilang nauupos.
Bakit biglang nagbago ang aking pakiramdam?

Alas-nueve ng gabi.

Pilit ang bawat hakbang.
Habol hininga akong naglalakad papuntang sakayan.
Tulad ng dati, naglipana ang mga addict, magnanakaw at sanggano sa daan.
Bakit di man lang ako nakaramdam ng kaba ngayon?

Ilang hakbang na lang ng ako’y napahinto.
Ng mapansin ko ang biglang pagbabago sa bahay ko.
Ang dating kay dilim at kay tahimik ay naging maliwanag at maingay na tila’y may handaan.
Bakit may okasyon na hindi ko alam at hindi ako imbitado?

Dali-dali akong pumasok.
Ngunit bigla akong nahinto. di ako makapaniwala sa mga nasaksihan ko.
Ang liwanag ay mula sa ilaw na nagkalat sa sala at ang ingay ay mula sa iyakan ng mga kakilala.
Bakit sila malungkot, sinong pumanaw ang tanong ko?

sa pagkalito, ako’y natumba.
Di makapaniwala sa aking nakita, ang kanilang iniiyakan pala ay walang iba kundi ako.
Di ko maipaliwanag kung paano nangyari na sarili ko mismo ang nakikikita kong nakaratay.
Bakit at paano nangyari eto?

Sa gulo ng aking isipan, ako’y napatakbo.
Pilit kong inuunawa ang pangyayari. Ngunit di maipaliwanag ng gulong-gulo kong isipan.
sa pag mamadali’y di ko napansin ang sasakyang rumaragasa pasalubong sa akin.
sa isang iglap, lahat ay nahinto. at ang ulirat ko’y tuluyang naglaho…

Alas-otso ng umaga.

Bigla akong napamulat, napabangon at nagunat.
Di inaksaya ang panahon, tumungo sa paliguan at nagbuhos ng tubig.
Bigla kung nabitawan ang tabong hawak-hawak.
Ang ulirat ko ay biglang nagising sa lamig ng tubig.
Ako’y biglang napangiti at napa-usal ng dasal.
Salamat na lang at isa lang palang masamang panaginip.

————————
Likha Niron (c) 2007

Isang linggo na naman ang nakaraan,
tigib ng pag-aalinlangan.
Isang linggo ang nakalipas,
lumipas kasama ng mga maliligayang alaala.
Sa pagtatapos ng linggo,
hangad ko sa’yo ay kaligayahan
na sa aki’y ‘di mo nakamtan.

Pumikit ka’t bumulong sa rikit ng iyong tala.
Nawa’y pagmulat mo,
masumpungan mo ang mailap na kaligayahan…

————————
Likha Niron (c) 2007

So what’s with blogging that makes a lot of internet users go gaga? I know
you find it exaggerated but consider this, there are people already got sued,
terminated from work, got award, and yes, became famous because of blogging. I
don’t need to list down the sources, just Google the net.

Blogging seems to be the ‘IT’ thing now.  Not sure if this is a fad, but it seems that
it becomes so common that it ranked next to ‘Google’ as the next word included
in the dictionary. So does it mean it should be as a vital as email address? I
hope not. My once-in-a-couple-of-month post on my blog is enough proof; Blogging
is not my thing.

So how come I’m still here doing my once-in-a-couple-of-months post? Frankly,
I don’t know. I think I can’t resist posting even if I sounded like a pathetic
guy who can’t even blog consistently. I know most of you are now ROTFLOL.[that’s
Rolling On The Floor, Laughing Out Loud] because I’m sounding like a broken
record telling you how difficult it is for me to blog but here I am, trying to
post my once-in-a-couple-of-months entry again. And there you are, reading my
once-in-a-couple-of-months post hopping that I will say something worth
reading. But as Borat will say, NOT!!! Unfortunately, there’s nothing new here.
Just my whining about blogging. So scram, don’t tell me that it is easy to
blog, because it’s NOT!!!! Don’t compare me to some wacko who can easily write
a though-provoking blog. I’m an engineering graduate and not lit major. Writing
is not my thing. So don’t expect a post that is worthy of Pulitzer award for
literature, okay?!?! [note to self: inhale, exhale..]

Okay where was I? Sorry I got carried away. Anyway, my point is that I feel
the pressure of posting to my blog. Not that I can easily bullied to do
something I don’t usually do. But I’m receiving inquiries about my blog which
is all about me blogging. And I don’t want to disappoint them. Yes, you read it
right. There are a few individuals who take time to read my blog. I don’t care
if they’re using it as case study in their psyche class or if they wanted to
feel normal. I don’t want to know.

So here I am again, whining/complaining about my dilemma. Same with my
previous posts, I’m resolving nothing. Haay, at least I was able to post an
entry for this year. 

Now that is the question. Up until now, I’m still contemplating on how blogging will affect my life. I even consider my once-in-a-couple-of-months entry such an herculean task. Okay, I’m exaggerating. But it is the truth. I mean, collecting my thoughts is like collecting blue confetti [just blue]  on the ground after a grand finale in a production number or after a Pacquiao Parade.

I know some will argue that you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to blog. It’s easy, I agree, because the technology is there. There’s a lot of method of doing it. Whether through browser, software and even your mobile phone. Heck, it’s way too easy that even a 7 year old kid can do it. (Now, that’s exaggeration!) So what keeps me from doing it? Actually, my dilemma is not about how to do it, but what to write on it. I know I can write about a lot of things, like my work, my travels, my opinions and my random musing. Yeah, that’s a lot considering I’m having a hard time juggling my work and my adventures. But the truth is, am I ready to expose myself to the world? Blogging is like opening yourself to the unknown world unknown world. Whether it be your daily routine, your opinions, or even your secret desires.[naku!] It’s all about  you. Now there lies my problem, which part of me should I write about?  No, I don’t have multiple personality. [just a dual personality - hehe]  It’s just that there are a lot of things happening in my life. A lot of things I can discuss, a lot of places I visited and love to visit [soon], and a lot of food that I love to eat and cook. [yeah, i can cook.] Haay, why is it so difficult for me to blog. Why? Maybe I need to have a meditation somewhere in Tibet to reflect and look deep into myself to find the answer. In order for me to achieve enlightenment. [Naks!]

BLOGGERS HOLD YOUR HORSES. I’m not saying that bloggers and pseudo-bloggers(e.g. me) are bunch of losers opinionated pricks [better?] who have nothing to do but sit in front of their 17″ or even 24″ inches Flat LCD monitor browsing www.bored.com[the site really exist!], scribbling/typing that there’s no tomorrow and checking the hottest babe or hunk in their friendster. No, I’m not bashing nor whining I just envy those people who can collect their thoughts and transform it into a thought-provoking or entertaining blog. Don’t get me wrong, I love reading blogs. I’m fascinated how people make fool of themselves and post it publicly on the net.[heheh just kidding, bloggers. =) ] It’s like watching television minus the fugly host or listening the radio minus the tagline [diba alam mo na yan, kukurukuku.] It’s just that I wanted to unload all the random thoughts inside my pea-sized brain but I can’t. I can collect my thoughts but whenever I start typing, I ended up looking at a blank monitor with an occasional Jocelyn Oxlade screen saver[what! you don't know Jocelyn Oxlade. tsk tsk tsk. look at the image below.]Haay.[oh, here she goes again.]

Photo credit: www.misshawaiiantropic-ph.com/jocelyn_page.htm

Anyway, hmmm, where was I? Oh yes, about blogging. Like what I said before Jocelyn Oxlade strut her stuff, I always end up looking at a blank monitor with an occasional [ey, I already wrote those. Darn! Have to change my screen saver to Spongebob before I repeat what I wrote again] Anyway, so where am I leading, what’s my point? Actually I don’t know.  [isn't blog supposed to be that way, writing random things that lead to nothing and just wasting the reader's time? =) peace bloggers] What I’m trying to say is that I only blog when I’m bored or if i have time. [yun lang yun!?!?] So here I am again, posting my once-in-couple-of-months entry and I’m sure the next one will be, say next decade or even century. So that’s all for now, stop pretending you understand what I wrote because I, myself and the voices inside my head, do not understand it.

I’m no longer bored and I have to go back to work, [oops.] whatever I’m doing. =)

Dear Blog,

Je suis désolé.  I hope you wont take it against me for not writing you for quite some time. Err, okay, I’m sorry for not writing  for the past days weeks?, OKAY MONTHS. I did write once. Anyway, I’m really contemplating of creating one helluva, kickass blog site. Something that is worth reading, worth adding to favorites or bookmark, something worthy for a news paper article, something worthy of an entire episode of Oprah. Tough one, eh?  Well, I guess I have to say bye-bye to Procrastination and say hello to, err, Consistency? The point is I want to unload all of my random thoughts, evil plans, secret fantasy and hodgepodge of angst , rants and rage from my brain. Or else I have to buy an external brain to contain all of that. Also, I’ve been hearing that the voices in my head are planning to sue me. They’re claiming my random thoughts are now occupying the space they use to have. tsk tsk tsk.

Sad, eh? Anyway, i guess we’ll be seeing each other more often. *fingers’ crossed, toes’ crossed*  I just hope the Procrastination found a new friend somewhere else and never hang out with me again. Or else, this will be another one-post-wonder, if there is such. Well, that’s all for now, my friend. I’ll be writing you more often.

a renewed blogger